Saturday, August 14, 2010
The Wine,The Dine and.............!!!
I was exhausted to the core , my head was getting hammered continuosly , the lights becoming dim around , i went to wash room......splashed water on eyes and face . I tried to relax myself , still those words are hovering in my ears , how can Vivek say that , m i dreaming...@$%^, but the truth is that all dreams are shattered now , reality was never so bitter , how can things go so wrong .......oh god i can't stress myself MOOOORE..... can't i just rewind this moment , can't my world be beautiful as its been always , can't we be together again as yesterday and day before day and so on.....can't i........OH MAN...i wanna get out my ambiguous mind first of all i guess.....!!! But again what to do......??? I gazed my computer screen for a second , than logged into yahoo chat room ...... i have never done this weird thing of talking to strangers ever but suddenly i want do this now.....
I popped into the room "fun" with my name as feather (God knows why i choose this name...i dont care )......
Lots of boxes started to appear on my screen...
ILSHNd : "hi baby..how r you ? "
Cruzo : "hey sexo "! shank : " helloz "
Why the hell guys can't talk to girl with some decency....why they want to show their potential of using such words on public sites...or is it like only for frustrated guys ....possibility is thr,even im frustrated though for other reasons....GOD TAKE HELL OUT OF ME...i dont even know why m here... :-/ !!
shank : " hey r u thr..? " (seemz i can talk to "it" )
feather : ( this name is so irritating...eeewww ) hi "
shank : " oh good god, i thought u wont reply "
feather : " do u knw me ? "
shank : " i guess thats y v r here ,to knw ech other.. :-) "
feather : " i dnt knw "
shank : " so may i know ur ASL plz..? "
feather : " no m nt intrstd in tellin.. "
shank : " cool dwn..r u fine... ? "
feather : "no m not....u have a problem wth that ( how can i b so rude now ...uff ) "
shank : " nah ! bt i think u have a one...its absltly fine ,btw m shankar,48 , male :-) "
feather : " thnx a lot fr telling..."
shank : " okie i guess i should leave now , tk cr of urslf :-)"
Hell man ..someone's trying to be sweet with me and how can i be so impolite....!!
feather : " hey m so sorii.....jst forgive me fr the behviour"
shank : "Hey not at all..its absolutely fine...it happens "
feather : " i think so...nwz m shalini,25, fem "
shank : " oh cool...now i got ur behviour... :-) "
feather :" m really very sori.... :-( " ( oh i finally managed with the smiley...though curved othr side )
shank :" Nwz i hv to leave nw.....i think sumone's at the door "
feather : "oh sure...i wasted enough of ur time "
shank : " oh abs not....i gotta go now..btw if u wanna cntact me ..u can call me at 9986754345"
feather : "thnx a lot...bye "( i saved the number )
shank : "bye..hope to c u sumday :-).tk care "
And the box closed...in the meantime lot many other frustrated people did banged on my screen showing up there potentials of varying level...i decided to go for sleep.....though i know i will be sleeping with my eyes open wide...still i think its better to take rest before i can think of something more weird !!!
I slide inside my blanket , thinking about my good memories with Vivek and i fell asleep in sometime........!!!
"Shaluuu... BANG BANG BANG....why the hell u not opening the door" my friend shouted.....when i unlocked the door she was shocked looking at my swollened eyes.I told her about the last night break up scene i had with Vivek and as my best friend she poured the words of sympathy and "I M THERE FOR YOU " sentence ...just for me ,but nothing's gonna work out i know ! My afternoon was about to get over ..it was almost 4'oclock and i did nothing from morning.....i wanted to talk with someone ( i dont know why this urge was disturbing me again and again...may be my lonliness ) , suddenly it reminded me about the man i had chat last night , i picked phone to call him.....SUDDENLY my mind signaled me about this strange behaviour of mine... "Does talking to someone unknown is right"....but i was too annoyed to think about all these...i just pressed the green button....!!! Phone was ringing...so was my heart...why m i doing ...and before i could think of nything else ,a heavy manly voice pop off : "Hello...shankar here , I kept quite for a second and replied " Hey I'm shalini....we talked on yahoo yesterday (how can someone talk there...me fool :-@ )"..."oh yesssss i remember....so how come u called up..how are you " a very gratifying voice that attracted me , "nothing just AIWAI and to say u sori again (ooh what was that word ) ".....AND THE CONVERSATION STARTED.......................he seemed to be a very nice man ( every man seems so at first ) so we ended up deciding to meet each other... :-).
I was feeling very apprehensive....but in the first meet itself , i got to know that he's a professional artist and a widower since 10 years with no child , even i shared lot of talks with him....i explained him the reason for that behaviour,and this sort of meetings continued between us for next few months....meantime i started considering him as my mentor who use to give me the mental stability whenever i feel negetive, i was free to discuss on any issues....his presence always made me feel secured and relaxed as an elder bless , i respected him a lot !
One day he invited me for his ART exhibition in the Time Art Gallery, that evening was a big success for him with all beau monde of the town, i had never been to party like this before....they talk about everything......money,politics,social issues, fashion,wine,and sex....it was really impressive one......The Beau People ,The Fine Dine , The Wine...........every part of that evening was getting into my nerves.......and i just imbibed ONE ,TWO,THREE ..................TEN glasses of wine !!! Oh my god....it was almost 12 now and i couldn't even stand...shankar offered me the lift and i was left with no other option ! Within next 20 minutes i was standing in front of my flat's door.......he helped me till my bedroom......i just fell on my bed , next moment i realised someone glaring at me constantly......it was SHANKAR, i never observed those brown eyes like this before......it was full of desire ,urge and a need to be loved by someone truly.....he came closer to me , i did'nt know how to react , i could smell the fragrance of his perfume now, his eyes were so deep and expressive.........his palm touched my cheeks and i could feel those lines of his harsh life and then evrything went dark for me !!!
Next morning i got up with severe headache like pins poking my brain from inside , and before i could come to my senses i realized myself drapped in JUST the silky white blanket that smells those lily fragrance i use in my cupboard , i was totally lost by that time , i can't remember anything about the last night , i looked around and found no one.....and it took me seconds to figure out the mistake i have done ! I was drowning in the sea of guilt , i was never so embarrased before , i wanted to shout loud and cry like hell.......but all i was , with the feeling of NUMB !!!
Suddenly i heard the footsteps walking towards me , and saw a man figure approaching me......i searched for my spects and next i saw VIVEK smiling at me. I just bursted out with tears overflowing , he came closer to me ,worried about this unexpected reaction of mine , i hugged him tightly , it was difficult for me to even look at him....what will i tell him, how to explain , how to react when he's back to me but now....all questions were clashing and making me scared of the consequence i was about to face the next moment.......and he spoke
" Hey my dear...m sori for the way i behaved with you , but all this period i just missed you more everyday , i know its very difficult for you to forgive me , but yesterday night i realized , how big is your heart that after all my ignorance you still excepted me with all your love ,without a drop of complaint....i promise i will never leave u again " and he kissed my forehead.............!!! .................... A blank silence surrounded me , and a thought about that man who was there till yesterday.........my emotions left me all off sudden , my mind stopped responding , i had no queries left except one : " What is love all about ...??? Is it the way i Do, Is it the way vivek proved me Today or is it the way that selfless man left me Yesterday with all respect............!!!
Hey friends this is the first story i have written.......i hope u liked my effort !!! :-)
Raisa Nair :-) ..........!!!